Sunday, May 20, 2012

Your God Sucks

A few months ago USA Today ran an article detailing the growing dilution of spiritual belief in America and general apathy towards anything beyond the material.

It came as no surprise to me. I know a lot of people who are cynical about god, disillusioned, disappointed and angry. Perhaps that is you. Maybe you ended up here by typing "god sucks" into a search engine. If so, please keep reading--it may not be what you expected but I hope you'll find some thoughts worth pondering.

However, I also know many, many people who aren't necessarily angry at God but simply uninterested. This group tends to believe in a curious blend of romanticized Eastern mysticism and shallow platitudes. “The Universe will guide me where I’m supposed to go.” That sort of custom-religion stuff where we create our own “god of what we feel like today.” Often a combination of the Force and a jolly old Santa Claus: a god who never relates to us, never asks anything of us, never challenges us to become more than we already are.

If God is just some mystical energy force with no personality and no real intent, then you my friend have already out-evolved God.

Think about it: you yourself have a personality—an identity. You strive to live your life with purpose, and meaning, and direction. If God does not possess an identity, then you are a higher being than It. That kind of Star Trek/Star Wars god is a flabby, wimpy thing and you’re probably right not to spend a lot of time thinking about how to relate to It.

This is one of the things I love most about the actual God, the God of all gods. He has a fierce personality, clear intentions, and he moves with absolute purpose in everything he does. He fights for you. And He knows you. The real You.

He’s also got a terrific sense of humor. I can just imagine God speaking with a chuckle in his voice the following words to the prophets:
Don't follow the customs of those nations who become frightened when they see something strange happen in the sky.
Their religion is worthless! They chop down a tree, carve the wood into an idol, cover it with silver and gold, and then nail it down so it won't fall over.
Like a scarecrow in a melon patch, their idols cannot speak; they must be carried because they cannot walk. (Jeremiah 10:2-5)
Can’t you just hear Him practically busting up as He’s saying this? “Hey, did you hear the one about the people who prayed to the god they dragged out of the forest? They had to nail the dang thing down so it wouldn’t fall on top of them!”

Or this one:
"Present the case for your idols,” says the LORD. “Let them show what they can do,” says the King of Israel. “Let them try to tell us what happened long ago so that we may consider the evidence. Or let them tell us what the future holds, so we can know what’s going to happen.
Yes, tell us what will occur in the days ahead. Then we will know you are gods. In fact, do anything—good or bad! Do something that will amaze and frighten us.
But no! You are less than nothing and can do nothing at all. (Isaiah 41:21-24)
You want a one-liner? Look to Hosea:
[My people] consult a wooden idol and are answered by a stick of wood. (Hosea 4:12
Perhaps I’m taking it a bit too far, for God’s heart certainly is not in insulting His children...but I gotta believe He at least had a twinkle in His eye when He spoke those words.

And yes he does eventually get around to performing a serious idol-smackdown:
Those people who make idols are nothing themselves, and the idols they treasure are just as worthless.
Worshipers of idols are blind, stupid, and foolish. Why make an idol or an image that can't do a thing?
Everyone who makes idols and all who worship them are mere humans, who will end up sadly disappointed. Let them face me in court and be terrified. (Isaiah 44:9-11)
The blacksmith takes a tool and works with it in the coals; he shapes an idol with hammers, he forges it with the might of his arm. He prays to it and says, “Save me! You are my god!”
They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand. (Isaiah 44:12,17-18)
Aren't you glad that we've evolved enough to move beyond worshipping the man-made?

Compare those pathetic man-made non-gods with the actual Lord of the universe:
The LORD is the true God; he is the living God, the eternal King. When he is angry, the earth trembles; the nations cannot endure his wrath.
When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth. He sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses. (Jeremiah 10:10, 13)
To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. (Isaiah 40:25-26)
And in stark contrast to an impotent god carved out of wood or a nameless, faceless “Universe”, God shows power and involvement. And passion:
Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
To me, you are very dear, and I love you. Don't be afraid! I am with you. From both east and west I will bring you together. I will say to the north and to the south, "Free my sons and daughters! (Isaiah 43:1-7)
Listen, I respect how difficult it can be to read those words and believe them, especially when everything around you is burning. I don't have the final answer to questions like "Why didn't god stop ____ from happening to me or someone I cared about?" What I do know is that God doesn't say if you go through deep waters, he says when. And he doesn't say "I will prevent you from going through the fire," he says "I will be with you when you do go through the fire."

I respect those of you who know what you believe and why you believe it, even if you completely disagree with me. At least I can have a conversation with someone like that (see the comments section of The Dog Ate My Jesus! for a great example).

But I have a real hard time understanding how people can go for so long with such a superficial, unexamined belief about ultimate meaning. Is it a product of the steady fatalism of our scientific age, in which we are just collections of matter that came from nothing and have no purpose except whatever we make up? Is it a reaction to fanatics and zealots who make us want to avoid any serious beliefs for fear we might turn into one of them?

It certainly is easier to have a casual spirituality, that’s for sure. How could it not be? But a god you make up yourself is worse than worthless. It cannot save you when your life begins to fall apart. A god you build with your own hands can do absolutely nothing to comfort you when your husband leaves you, or when you lose your job or get the bad news from the doctor. Or when a gunman opens fire on you at the movies. A god you have to nail down to keep from falling over can’t empower you to face your addiction, or your greed or your bitterness or your arrogance. These are exactly the times when you NEED a Strong God who stands on His own.

Do you really want to entrust the care of your eternal spirit, of what makes you you, to a cafeteria-god that you hand-picked and chose yourself? I hope the answer is no, but even if you do—you’re kinda out of luck. God IS. You don’t get to make your own custom god like creating an orc in World of Warcraft.

If you're open to exploring this matter further in your own life but you have trouble believing that the god from a 2000-year old book is in any better to believe in: well, first of all I think that’s a great place to be. The real God doesn’t want unthinking drones who just go through motions anyway--“I desire mercy, not sacrifice,” he says. Rituals and tradition mean absolutely nothing to him if the heart offering them up is empty.

Secondly, I urge you to borrow or purchase any of the books linked just to the left of this column. I don’t care if you buy them through this site or not, just get one and start reading it. Or read through my series on why I personally follow and worship Jesus.

I can guarantee you that if you attempt to find the living God who’s really there, He’ll meet you. He'll reveal himself as the Strong God Who IS. He’ll challenge you and some of your deeply-held beliefs. But more importantly, He’ll accept you. He’ll tell you that you belong here, that you have a valuable place in this world and an important place in his family that no one else can fill.

And when things get really bad for you in this world, as they invariably will, you won’t have to prop him up with nails to keep him standing.

You see, Jesus already did that to himself.

But it wasn't to keep him from falling over…it was to keep you.

30 comments:

  1. Guess I missed the skeptical part

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    1. Best comment ever.

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    2. Hello Anonymous,

      If you are interested in learning some background information about my site's title, please read the very first article I ever wrote here. It'll give you some insight as to why I call it what I do.

      The URL is:

      http://bit.ly/OPUnvm

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  2. Present the case for your God,” says the PHIL. “Let HIM show what He can do,” says the PHIL. “Let HIM try to tell us what happened long ago so that we may consider the evidence . Or let HIM tell us what the future holds, so we can know what’s going to happen. <> Well god i'm waiting? Whats that? Oh just chirping crickets. Failing the same test as the idols that have to be carried i see. I might chuckle at the guy bowing to a piece of wood but i'm laughing tears at the folks with the invisible friend.

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    1. Dear Anonymous (Phil?),

      I understand that such cynicism often comes from profound injuries both physical and emotional and I do not trivialize such evils, but I believe you do yourself a great disservice by allowing your mind to rest in such a shallow and immature view of God.

      The existence and attributes of "God" (if there is any) is fundamentally the most important question that a person must grapple with throughout life, and smug, superficial ridicule only cheapens *your* experience.

      I'll challenge you to expand your mind and deepen your thoughts in two ways:

      1) Continue reading other posts in my blog, especially the series "Resurrection is Go!", in which I put forth my reasons for believing in the resurrection of Jesus, and

      2) Present me with *your* case for disbelief. Easy mockery doesn't cut it if you wish to be taken seriously. Bitterness, anger, feelings of betrayal--all these are valid feelings and are welcome in the comments section...but you gotta back them up. If you believe there is no "god", then what is your explanation for the existence of the universe and everything in it?

      I look forward to hearing from you again.

      Resurrection Is Go: http://www.skbeliever.com/2011/03/resurrection-is-still-go.html

      Particle God: http://www.skbeliever.com/2012/07/particle-god.html

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    2. dude, use your brain. All gods are bullshit.

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    3. Sorry Anonymous, that doesn't cut it as an argument. What are your reasons for believing that?

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  3. You're right when you say he has a fierce personality!

    He certainly showed us that by all his commands to kill women and children and leave not even cattle alive, also when he commanded armies to wait in bushes and rape virgins! Yay go God!

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    1. gilla777, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. Better to air your grievances than keep them inside to fester.

      I'm not sure if you've read the actual story you're referring to here (which can be found in Judges 21), because it's actually an example of what happens in the world when people do NOT follow and trust God.

      In the chapters before, men of Benjamin kidnap and rape a woman to death, so the Israelites gathered up an army and demand justice for the men who did this. Benjamin refuses, choosing instead to shelter the rapists, so the Israelites go to battle against them and prevail. So far, we'd probably both agree that this is a just battle.

      From this point, however, the Israelites go off the deep end and decide to try to annihilate the entire people of Benjamin. Then they make a hasty vow that they will not let their children marry any survivors from Benjamin, thereby ensuring the extinction of the tribe.

      At some point after this the Israelites regret making this promise and wonder how they can get around it, so they come up with the bright idea to go to another town, kill the men and children and take their women to give them to Benjamin to marry. But this wasn't enough women to repopulate the tribe, so then they tell the Benjaminites to go "hide in the bushes" and kidnap the women of still another city.

      Here's my point:
      --1. God did NOT condone or command the rape and murder of the original woman,
      --2. God did NOT tell the Israelites to commit total genocide against Benjamin
      --3. God did NOT tell the Israelites to make a hasty vow regarding marriage
      --4. God did NOT condone or command the murder of the inhabitants of Jabesh Gilead or the kidnapping of their women, and
      --5. God did NOT condone or command the kidnapping of the women of Shiloh.

      The whole point of this story is summarized by the following commentary: "The lesson here is that there is no justice when people take morality into their own hands. This whole account, from beginning to end, shows innocent people suffering because the Israelites put their own interests and values first."

      Finally, if you read the story for yourself, you can't help but notice the verse that caps this whole evil affair:

      "In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit."

      Grace to you, gkilla777. I encourage you to keep bringing your honest objections out into the open. The Lord is able to speak to you through them.

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  4. Christians always take the position that the Bible is fact. The Bible is a collection of writing about ancient mythologies by a primitive middle eastern culture. Believing the claims of supernatural events from those people is ludicrous. If someone wants to take the position that God is involved with human life, they should argue what they consider proof of that in the present time, not from stories 2000 or more years ago.

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    1. I'd be happy to accept your challenge, Anonymous.

      Growing up, I suffered from a chronic physical malady. Nothing life-threatening or especially dramatic, but it was fairly debilitating whenever it arose. 17 years ago, I was an undergrad in college and this condition began having a serious impact on my studies. So for the first time in my life, I prayed to God about it. For over an hour I prayed deeply, asking to be healed of this condition.

      And I was.

      Instantaneously.

      Seventeen years have passed since that happened, and to this day I have not had one single recurrence of it. This experience was personal to me, of course, and subjective, so I do not expect anyone else to use it as proof of God's existence. However, it has become a touchstone for my own faith. When times come in which I doubt the existence of the supernatural (which are quite often, thus the title of my blog), I remember that the supernatural happened to *me*. To my own body.

      As to your larger point about the veracity of the Bible, there are multitudes upon multitudes of resources available to you in order to educate yourself as to why Christians believe in the Bible. You can start with my own book, which I co-wrote with a non-Christian and can be downloaded for $1 from http://ow.ly/mhqwA. There are answers out there to your objections. What you choose to do with those answers is completely your free choice, but they *are* out there.

      Grace to you, Anonymous. I pray that God will speak in a way that is unique to your spirit so that you'll know it is from Him, as He does for anyone who will only ask.

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    2. Perfectly said. People that answer religious questions with bible answers are worshipping a false idol. It's the BIBLE.

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  5. he certainly sucks by not giving me a love life that he gave so many very blessed people.

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  6. ok i just started reading that nonsense you have written above as i had typed "god sucks" into google search (i usually type things like yahweh is evil or yahweh is cruel or god is evil etc and read things that the links say. as personally i think yahweh is a cruel unjust genocidal monster amongst many other things, you have read the books of law in the OT yes lol?)and saw your link come up...i got as far into it to where you mock idol worshippers and started shouting at the computer lol asking you where is your god lol? he dosent show himself any more than these idols do i wish i could speak to you lol because you seem so smug in your equally false god yahweh and here mocking idols when yahweh is a non existent idol as well only hes not made of wood, hes invisible lol(made of wood...invisible not much difference in terms of being ridiculous and fictitious)and the only real proof you have of him is a book...the first part of which the OT was written by savage barbarians who made a savage barbaric god in their own image, a god that told them to burn cities to the ground and kill every living thing inside them, men women babies animals the lottttt. or sometimes he let them capture young virgins from these cities to do as they pleased with and slaves who they could beat to death if they liked as long as the slaves did not die of their injuries within two days, anyway you want to mock idols yet you HONESTLY cant say that you have ever physically seen yahweh or even heard his voice with your own ears yahweh is equally non existent as these idols you make fun of and you KNOW IT. i can give one liners from hosea as well bud: hosea 13;16 they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up. anyway your god sucks, why? too much reasons read the OT lol hes a savage unmerciful mass murdering bully who gives out severe punishments for the most trivial offences.....SUCKSSSSSSSSSS

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment, Anonymous. You make some good points that I want to talk about at the end. But first, it seems to me your judgment of the Old Testament is quite shallow and superficial. I don't begrudge you this, as the general state of biblical education in the USA is woefully deficient, even among Christians. Add in today's Internet culture which rewards only the most simple and bite-sized of thoughts and we have a tailor-made recipe for ignorance. For sure, Christians share in the responsibility for this state of affairs.

      However, it sounds to me like your view of Scripture is heavily influenced in part by other sources (which I will refrain from naming here as I don't believe they merit any additional traffic). When searching for truth or insight, you can't gather information solely from biased sources that confirm your preconceived notions. That's called confirmation bias and it's just as silly as a person who only watches Fox News but thinks they know what a liberal actually believes. Or someone who only watches MSNBC and thinks they actually have a realistic grasp on what a conservative believes.

      You have to go to more places than evilbible if you want to have a truly educated opinion. This works both ways too; as a Christian I often seek out opposing viewpoints and people who actively disbelieve in Christianity, because I want to know what people actually believe, not just what a Christian *says* a non-Christian believes. Doing this tests your ideas like a refiner's fire and can only sharpen your own intellect.

      To your question whether I've read the books of the Law I answer yes, I've read the entire Bible. Here's something for you to think upon: there are approximately 2 billion people alive today who call themselves Christians, and many more who are no longer alive. Don't you think that a great majority of these people have read the very stories you use to accuse Yahweh as a "savage barbaric god"? Yet somehow, we have all been able to reconcile these passages with the idea that God is love.

      This ought to suggest to you that there are answers to be had. For starters you might read my own book, in which I talk at length about many of these issues, and which you can download for only $1 at http://ow.ly/odRLG. You might also read any of the recommended books listed in the little spinning carousel on the left-hand side of my blog. You may not agree with the answers presented, but they *are* out there and you owe it to yourself to grapple with them, rather than relying on flip accusations which accomplish nothing and edify noone.

      Also see my reply to gkill777's comment above for a partial response to one of the specific stories you seem to be referring to.

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    2. The final part of your comment that I'll address is your point that Yahweh is an unseen god and therefore no better than a wooden idol. I think this is an astute point you make here and deserves a response. The reason I, and billions of others like me, believe that Yahweh actually exists and is the true God is threefold:

      1. Trustworthy OBJECTIVE evidence: there is ample historical evidence which exists outside myself and my own experience which testify to the veracity of the Bible. There's no way to go into it all here but my suggestion for the best place to start would be the Handbook of Christian Apologetics by Kreeft and Tacelli, or for a more classical tone try Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

      2. Numerous SUBJECTIVE experiences: I personally have had a multitude of subjective experiences of God and his love for me, encompassing nearly every aspect of human existence. I've experienced miraculous physical healing, I've heard God speak to me, and I've had too many providential "coincidences" to count. Some of these I relate in my book, and I briefly tell the story of my healing in a previous comment (dated June 22, 2013) on this same post.

      3. Testimony of OTHERS: Billions of people throughout history have acted as witnesses to the truth of the gospel, in ways both large and small. Skeptics love to point out all the evil that's been done "in the name of religion" when attacking Christianity, but they always omit the vastly larger amount of GOOD that has been done as a result of people seriously trying to follow the call of Jesus. What's more, even the evil that is done acts as a testament in *favor* of the biblical view of man, as it recognizes we are all sinful and prone to evil impulses, even to the point of taking the good and the beautiful and twisting it to evil. Every time a person commits an evil act, even in the name of God, they are proving that the Bible is right in describing humanity as being equally capable of both the greatest goods and the vilest evils.

      Just like a 3-legged stool, the Christian belief wouldn't be very tenable if it only possessed one or two of these legs (which incidentally, virtually every other religion in existence does). But the fact that all 3 of these lines of evidence exist and have withstood every attack brought against them for 2000 years points to a very strong case to be made for the existence of Yahweh and his love for each of us.

      I gotta go now, as this reply has been longer than some of my entire articles, but I hope you'll take it upon yourself to continue wrestling with your thoughts and feelings on this matter, and I encourage you to go deeper in your analysis of the Bible and the God it reveals.

      Grace to you.

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  7. God has no plan. Every time im happy in life God takes away from me. I dont need him or his lessons. I hate him

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  8. You are full of shit. You're just like any other pious freaks who force and shove their beliefs down other people's throats. Stop blaming all your misfortunes to "God's Plans for everyone" that's just another way to justify other people's irresponsibility and cruelty. You jesus freaks always say that as humans, we have free will, freedom to decide what our fate will be, which is totally contradictory to "everything according to God's plan" fuck u

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    1. Anonymous,

      I hope you return here to view my response to your comments. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. Please see my response below.

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  9. Stop using God as a marketing strategy for people to read your other entries or even buy books, even if it is for a dollar only. Also, i just want to say that, you kept on telling people how shallow their understanding is, when in fact, YOU are the shallow one. You use the bible to justify your article, you even make references from it. You try to bring people to
    Salvation by stopping them from thinking that the concept of your god sucks to the core. What you fail to understand is these people used to have faith in the concept of god but it never did them any good. You are the shallow one because you resist from considering other possibilities and reason. Another point that i want to establish is this thing u call religion and faith have survived for thousands of years only because a lot of people want to believe in it, because you shallow people fear oblivion, having all these make believe is better than not knowing where all the world started. The bible is just another theory, but so far, the most believed one because it promises happy, rainbow-y things, that a big guy will always rescue you from the deep shit that you alone have put yourself into. Stop shoving your OWN understanding of god's concept down other people's throats. We all have it bad, but we have different ways of coping. Telling people that it is some dude's perfect plan for them is totally ridiculous. The reason why people hats God is because of people like YOU

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    1. Dear Anonymous,

      Thank you for visiting my site and taking time to read my words. I am very sorry for whatever spiritual injury was done to you in the name of God; clearly you have been deeply affected in a negative way. I sincerely hope you are able to process your experiences in time and receive some measure of healing from them.

      I would, in a friendly spirit, like to challenge many of the accusations you levelled at me:

      1. "Stop shoving your OWN understanding of god's concept down other people's throats."

      This confuses me. I haven't shoved anything down your throat. You came here of your own free will and made the decision to read my posts without any coercion whatsoever from me. In fact, between the two of us, it seems to be you doing the "shoving down the throat" as you are the one who came into my space to curse at me.

      One of the great blessings of living in a free society is the freedom of expression. This entails, by definition, the need to be able to accept the existence of opinions different from your own and to engage with them responsibly.

      2. "We all have it bad, but we have different ways of coping. Telling people that it is some dude's perfect plan for them is totally ridiculous."

      I think you may have misunderstood what I actually wrote. In fact I *agree* with your statement: telling somebody who's kid just died that it's "all part of God's plan" is completely ridiculous and unfathomably stupid. I think religious people who say this do it out of a kind heart and a loving spirit, but it ends up just sounding terrible. And it sounds to me (if you'll excuse my armchair psychoanalysis) like somebody has said this to you personally in response to something tragic in your own life. If so, I'm sorry that happened and that it hurt you so much.

      What I actually wrote in my article above was that I DON'T have the answer for why awful things happen to people. I did say that I believe God will walk through the pain WITH you...but I don't pretend to understand why He lets so much of it happen in the first place. In my opinion, anyone who says they know why God lets babies die and kids get murdered by terrorists is indeed full of crap.

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    2. (cont.)

      3. "this thing u call religion and faith have survived for thousands of years only because a lot of people want to believe in it"

      This idea that "believing something doesn't make it true" cuts both ways. You're absolutely right: wishing that there is a God who will save you doesn't make it true. But at the same time, believing that there is no God doesn't make *that* true either. You may say that the existence of so much pain and suffering means there is no good God, but another person looks at the exact same universe and concludes that the existence of so much joy and beauty means there *must* be a good God.

      Believing either one of those things doesn't make it true. You need to weigh the evidence, and remember to be skeptical of your own skepticism. After all, many times our supposedly honest skepticism is really a smokescreen covering for something else: perhaps a deep and painful emotional wounding, or perhaps a desire to live however the hell we want to without someone above telling us what to do, or perhaps a deep-seated sense of intellectual superiority over "the brainwashed masses".

      Look, there's good evidence for not believing in God. I'll agree with you all day long on that. Just spend 5 minutes reading the news and you'll see plenty. But I believe there is even better evidence in favor of believing in God, and this blog is my own personal attempt at discussing some of it. In fact, I recently wrote a post called "Ludicrous Belief, Go!" on this very topic. Forgive me for marketing my own material...but that leads directly into my final point.

      4. "Stop using God as a marketing strategy for people to read your other entries or even buy books, even if it is for a dollar only."

      Man, if this blog was my attempt at making money, I am a miserably abject failure.

      Seriously though, I kind of understand where you're coming from on this one, as there are numerous examples of people using the name of God to make themselves lots of money, and that always calls into question someone's motives. However, I disagree that there is anything *fundamentally* wrong with the concept of making money for your writing. After all (just speaking for my own experience), I pour many, many hours into these posts, and the goal is that they are productive and useful to other people who read them. Should not a man be paid for his work? I certainly wouldn't go to my day job (awesome as it is) 40 hours a week if they didn't pay me anything. Heck, even Jesus himself said "The worker deserves his wages." Look it up!

      I put in honest time working on this blog (which is time away from my family and away from my leisure activities) and I never try to coerce or trick anybody into buying anything whether it's my own book or not. If you want to you're more than welcome, but I've never ever tried to fool someone into giving me money, and there is not a soul who can reasonably accuse me of otherwise. I don't lose an instant of sleep worried about my motives here.

      Besides, you can't get my book for a dollar anymore anyway. The sale's over. ;)

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  10. It wouldn't have been so bad if he gave me a wife and family which he gave to so many others.

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  11. Then again with God making so many women today that are very high maintenance, very independent, very selfish, very spoiled, and very greedy, is the real reason why many of us good innocent men are still single today which many of us are Not single by choice either since we really Can't blame ourselves at all.

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    1. Dear Anonymous,

      I almost deleted your comment since it is completely off topic, but then I realized that would be dismissing your pain, which I don't want to do.

      I'm no love doctor but I do have some advice for you. First, you gotta quit with the pity party, man. No one wants to be around someone who blames everyone else for everything. What woman would want to be with a guy who thinks all women are selfish, spoiled, and greedy? Take a good, hard look in the mirror and try to figure out what it is that keeps them from being interested in you, and then work (and pray) to improve.

      Second, stop visiting forums, websites, gyms, etc. where you're talking about alphas, betas, and looking at women like they're wild game to be caught in your carefully laid trap. We're not frickin' apes anymore. You're asking for nothing but abject failure by thinking about a woman the way those guys do.

      Third, and perhaps most important, you need to realize that a woman, even "the perfect woman", isn't going to solve your life problems and make it all better for you. Trust me on this. I've been married for 13 years to a woman who is the perfect fit for me, yet there are many days when she lets me down, when she angers me, when she disappoints me. There are days when I secretly wish I hadn't married her. THAT'S LIFE. No woman can "complete" you and make you whole. She's a human being just like you and me, trying her best to be the best version of herself she can be, and often failing.

      Here's the flip side: everything I just said about her, she would say the exact same thing about me.

      If you really do want to find a woman that will bring blessing to your life (as opposed to just a piece of meat to stick it in), realize that they are all human beings, just like you and me. The same kinds of things that make you happy likely make her happy, and the same kinds of things that upset you probably do to her too. Women aren't like machines where you can just flip the levers in the right position and turn the right knobs and they magically fall all over you.

      To attract a woman, you need to "be the one" before you can "find the one".

      My best and final piece of advice is that the very best place for you to start working on this is in the pages of the Bible. Go find one or look one up online and start reading through any of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). Learn from Jesus about how this world works and how your soul works. Pray to him to help you become the kind of person that naturally attracts an awesome woman without even having to try that hard. God promises that he will reveal himself to you when you search for him with all your heart. Start there, and all the rest of these things will begin to fall into place, and I have no doubt you'll eventually find a woman willing to share her life with you.

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  12. Oh Hell, you can say that again.

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  13. I really Can't Blame God at all come to think of it since Most of the women of today are Nothing at all like the Real Good old fashioned women were that were so much Nicer and a hell of a lot Easier to meet since today Most of them now are so Very Pathetic since they like to Curse at us men all the time for No Reason at all. Then again they really do have very Severe Mental Problems too unfortunately which is why many of us Good men are still Single today

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  14. I came here angry and still don't believe much in God and definitely started out thinking this lady was pushing her beliefs and a bible thumper etc. However, her comments are intelligent, thoughtful, and pretty damn reasonable. Unfortunately the comments from other people here are just angry. They came here angry and for good reasons. This world sucks and I am angry too. I haven't changed my views on God because I am angry and sick of hearing about young people dieing for no reasons, however the person writing this page IS a decent person with intelligent points and is obviously really trying to help others. I'm a social worker and I get that. Keep an open mind and just keep living the best you can..

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  15. When myself and others have suffered so much, why praise a being who would let such things happen? I don't worry about He**. I'm already there.

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